Damaged
by InSleepHeSangToMe
Summary: There's a reason for every kind of evil. Bellatrix Lestrange and Tom Riddle were talented in hurting each other. They wouldn't admit what it meant. They still won't. They left their marks on each other. The damage was done.
1. Chapter 1

**Damaged. **

Disc: I don't own Harry Potter.

We were beautiful. We thrived on power and success.

No one could understand our obsession.

No one could understand us.

Behind every villain is a story.

Every story has its mark.

Unfortunately for them, the mark was dark.

Unfortunately for them, the mark was permanent.


	2. Chapter 2

**Damaged**

Disc: I don't own Harry Potter.

…

_There is always a wicked secret/_

_A private reason for this./_

Bellatrix Black

I turned sixteen on a Friday. Friday April 13th. I didn't expect a soul to wish me a Happy Birthday, no one knew except my excuse for a sister Narcissa, and her excuse for a "boyfriend" Lucius. And they were only thirteen, they wouldn't remember nor would they care.

I left the girls dormitory room in my robes, on my way out to breakfast. I made the decision that this day would be like all others. Rodolphus and Rastaban Lestrange would be irritating and frustrating, Amycus Carrow would whine and complain about everything and Tom Riddle… Tom would ignore us all and study alone in the library. If only I had that peace and quiet.

I saw Ciss and Lucius playing Wizard's Chess on Slytherin's common room table, and Greg Goyle attempting to decipher an ancient runes assignment. There was also Rodolphus, indicating an empty seat beside him. I knew that he loved me, but I couldn't return the sentiment. My love was directed at the idea of perfection and power; I didn't have time to spend on Rodolphus's round face and sweaty palms.

However, I began to walk towards the spot. I had nothing else to do. Then, a pale hand in a black robe intercepted me. "Happy Birthday, Bellatrix." He whispered to me, a glint in his eyes, and an uncanny innocence on his face. "I hope it's a good one." With that, he walked away and left me, dazed.

I had only spoken to Tom Riddle twice before. His silence and his air of charm were frightening to me, as I couldn't understand where his force was coming from. Certainly not his soft eyes or his kind words. I did not understand him, and he held a power over me that I could not explain as a child. All I knew was that he was a special kind of person, in a league far from the Lestranges.

"Thanks." I whispered in his absense, amazed that he knew that it was my birthday.

I was easily flustered as a young girl. I was strong, but I didn't like to be blind sighted like that. I did not like surprises, and I preferred being in charge of every situation, for in spontaneity lay my weakness. As time went on, I lost my innocence and I gained a hardened shell that was never surprised, but part of me stayed the sixteen-year-old girl, breathless by her first real encounter with Tom Riddle.

I was happy for the rest of the day. I received gifts from my parents, a long black cloak and various books, but nothing was as important to me than the run in with Tom.

The thing about Tom was that no one knew who he was. He didn't open up to anyone and he didn't share his secrets. We didn't know who his friends were and we didn't know where he came from. As a teenaged girl in the middle of adolescent feelings, I thought I could reach him. Maybe the birthday greeting had been permission for me to get to know him. That's what I kept telling myself throughout the day.

After dinner, I walked with Amycus and Rabastan back to the common room. Rodolphus was nowhere to be found, probably trying to sneak another love potion into my room. At once I saw Tom. He was sitting in one of the couches near the fire, no one else would approach him, the other couches were empty.

Naturally I approached him.

He didn't look up as I sat; he simply sat and continued staring into the fire. I sat in silence, flipping through one of my birthday books. It was a long while before he broke the silence with a light cough.

"Hello Bellatrix. Nice Evening." _Yes, it was._

"Indeed."

"How was your birthday? Enjoyable?" He was looking at me now. I didn't want to turn my head, but some inexplicable attraction forced me to look back at him, into his eyes.

"Very much so." His eyes never strayed from mine; he didn't blink. "Tom, how did you know that it was my birthday today?" I couldn't believe that the words were coming from my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that, it just kind of slipped out; his eyes were doing dangerous things to my defenses.

"I'm sure you mentioned it to me." Tom was deliberate, so sure of his statement.

"No." I promised. "We've only spoken twice before. I've never told you about my birthday."

"Well I don't know, Bellatrix." Tom smiled; he looked sheepish. However, his eyes never strayed from mine. "I must have just heard about it."

I didn't believe him for a second, but something about him removed all the doubts in my head. I smiled and nodded vaguely.

"Well. If you say so…" I got up to go.

"Bella."

I stopped in my tracks. No one called me Bella except Narcissa and my grandmother. The way he said it was more of a melody than a word. I sat back down in the couch and waited.

"Yes?"

"Please don't think me too forward, but I notice what you have put up with. The Lestranges and Amycus and especially Goyle. I want you to know that if you should ever get …bored… of their less than satisfactory company, I wouldn't mind some company of my own." I couldn't believe that I was being asked by Tom Riddle to be his company. His friend.

"Thank you." I smiled, slightly surprised, and got up. "Goodnight Tom."

"Goodnight Bella." He turned back to the fire.

What I didn't realize at the time was that I had just agreed to the most abusive relationship that I would ever experience. I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face and positive thoughts in my head, not considering for a second that the boy who confused us all would soon become a part of me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Damaged**

Disc: I don't own Harry Potter.

…

_Got no salvation/_

_Got no religion/_

Bellatrix Black

I came from an abusive family.

What you consider abusive and what I consider abusive are two different things, I'm sure. You see, my family smothered my sisters and I. My parents loved us too much, they wouldn't let us explore the world for ourselves, and they always smothered our intentions and our interests. Later in her life, Narcissa would do the same to her only son, Draco.

Given our parents, it's no surprise that Andromeda wanted to be in Ravenclaw.

Given our parents, it's not surprise that she abandoned the family altogether.

There were three of us. I was the oldest, then Andromeda who was a year younger than myself, then Narcissa who was a year younger than Andromeda. As teenagers, Andromeda and myself could have been mistaken for twins; we had long dark hair, big, dark grey eyes, pale skin, sharp noses and plump, full lips. Our only difference was that my hair had tints of blue and hers had shades of red. Narcissa, on the other hand, had thin blonde hair, a button nose and very thin lips.

Our personalities were all different. Andromeda and I were both strong, but in different ways. I was manipulative and she was rebellious. Narcissa, however, was the weak one; she couldn't stand up for herself because she was used to being the youngest; the protected.

Anyways, back to the abuse.

Narcissa was the most scarred. She fell for Lucius the first time she set eyes on him. She was so twisted by love, she couldn't see that Lucius was weak and cowardly, just like her. I knew that she depended on our parents and on other people because she always had. She also had a victim complex. It was always "Mummy, Bella hates me" or "Daddy, Andromeda stole my quills." She always complained; it was always about her.

Andromeda was different. She was scarred, but in a way where she loved everyone. It was the oddest thing. Our parents always taught us against fraternizing with magical creatures that weren't in a direct bloodline. It was a safety thing. I always just followed it, but Andromeda always talked to everyone, and what's more, she had a friend who had no bloodline. She was a muggleborn, and Andromeda always talked about how smart and capable she was. This of course, was the beginning of a long and rocky relationship with my parents that ended up with Andromeda abandoning her family to marry a muggle.

As for myself, I couldn't say. I had never really felt love. I was fond of my parents and I agreed with their ideas, but I never relied on them like Narcissa, and I never broke their hearts by loving others like Andromeda. I didn't like to feel vulnerable. I liked power and I liked Tom. That's all I knew at sixteen.

As an adult, I grew to be hard. A shell hardened around me after years of not caring. Or pretending not to care. I wasn't born an evil witch, I wasn't born crazy or deranged as so many people have accused me of being. I wasn't born damaged.

Tom had always been damaged; you could see it in his eyes. He didn't trust anyone; he would never trust me completely. The only thing I knew was that as beautiful as he was, he was dangerous to be around because he didn't know himself, what's more, he was dangerous because he couldn't love himself.

…

Tom Riddle Jr.

_I was not used to a female presence as strong as hers. When I was in the orphanage, the women were weak, defeated and their passion was long gone. This girl clearly cared. She was a magnificent phenomenon of strength, passion, and energy. She was tightly wound and beautiful; I noticed the way she was easily bored and annoyed with her friends. She was going to be something spectacular. I decided that I had to have her on my side._

_The most stunning thing about her was her ability to look at me._

_Usually girls looked at me in a quiet way; a subtle, sly glance when they thought I couldn't see them. _

_Bellatrix didn't just look._

_Bellatrix looked right into my eyes and saw my past. I could tell._

_She would be dangerous because of her obsession. _

_Right away I noticed that Bella was passionate. Her energy was keen and fresh and she had a youthful longing to live. I could give her life. I was worried, however, about the cost. If Bella chose to follow me on my way to dominance, the path that no one had yet heard about; my own secret thought, she would not keep her innocence. Something that apparently means a great deal to some people. _

_I had never had innocence to begin with. _

_Mine was taken when I was born. _

_I needed Bellatrix Black. _

_I had no idea how much._


	4. Chapter 4

**Damaged**

Disc: I don't own Harry Potter.

…

_You're gunna catch a cold;_

_From the ice inside your soul._

Bellatrix Black

The days following my birthday were filled with nervous thoughts and the apparent inability to string words together when I was around Tom. My other friends took a backseat to the obsession that grew quietly inside of me towards the mysterious boy. Of course, I dealt with the obsession in the usual fashion; I ignored him and made snide remarks when I felt scared.

Tom would say hello on his way to breakfast, or after classes in the common room. We didn't share any classes as he was in his sixth year, and I was only in my fifth. (A/N – I know this is mathematically impossible, shut it.) However, that was the extent of his talking to me. I suppose it was my fault, as I acted indifferent and passive in his presence.

Finally, I took a chance and went to the Library during lunch to see if he truly studied there every day.

He was sitting at a table with an old, moldy volume that quivered slightly in his hands.

I took my chance and sat beside him. "Hello, Bellatrix." He greeted me cordially, and motioned to the other books strewn across the table. "Please make yourself at home, move anything you need to move."

"Thanks." I said simply.

"Do you need anything?"

"Why are you asking me that? You can't really do much for me here." I only heard the words coming from my mouth. It was like a reaction around him. All of these awful thoughts that I kept stored away would just burble out into the silence.

"Oh no?" Tom looked amused. "You're right, I suppose. But then why are you sitting with me." He raised an eyebrow. "Why choose to sit with someone who can't do anything for you."

He said it with such conviction I almost fell over. He knew that he could be the one person in my life that would change the course I took forever. However, my standard rude response mechanism was in full swing.

"I guess you're right. Why would I choose to sit here."

Then I realized that I would have to move.

Then I realized that I couldn't just be nice to him, no matter how attractive he was. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I had been so excited to sit with him, then the moment we were together, it was like a reaction. I tried to say something nice.

"Listen, I'm sorry, but as much as I'd love to sit with you, my class is going to start soon." That sounded sarcastic, even to my ears.

"Yes, well. Have a good afternoon." He didn't even look up. He sounded bored.

I walked away from that experience realizing that I could never attract a boy that I liked because I couldn't be nice. I would try again, I promised myself, and again and again until I've stopped being rude.

_3 weeks._

May was approaching.

I still could not be nice to Tom Riddle. But something else was happening.

I thought that if I continued to be rude, if the reaction continued, I'd have no future with the beautiful boy. As it happened, the ruder I was, the closer we became. I would say something rude, and he would respond with something equally harsh. A lot of times, it was playing on an insecurity that I didn't even know that I had until he mentioned it. I could tell that I worked on his insecurities as well.

As hard as Tom Riddle tried to hide his emotions, I could see when I hit a sore spot. Namely, his father. I gathered that he had never met his mum or his dad; he only knew that his father was a muggle and his mother was less than beautiful. I also learned that he had nowhere to go back to after school ended, he would be leaving Hogwarts, and because he turned 18 in June, he would no longer be living in an Orphanage. In theory, he would be homeless.

One afternoon, I found him in the library, sitting between two rows of books. He was looking out the window with his stony face and set jaw. I only ever saw this intense look when he was alone, and I was merely looking into his world.

"Tom?" I called out tentatively. He turned and all the stress in his face melted away into a polite smile. For over a week now, he had been smiling at me, sometimes in a careless, wild way that I had never seen before. Most times though, it was this polite smile. "Hello. Do you mind if I join you?" Sometimes he didn't want company, I respected that, and it was familiar to me.

"Please, come here." He indicated to the cushion beside him. I lowered myself to his level and placed my purse on the ground. I was skipping charms. He knew that I was supposed to be in class, but he would never mention it.

"So" I began "Have you found the cardboard box that you'll be living in after this year?" He rolled his eyes in his usual way.

"No." For the first time, he didn't snap back with another witty comment. He just sat in his cushion and looked at me.

"What's wrong?" I found myself moving closer; the invisible gap between us closing. I usually stayed as far as I could away from him, because of the respect of space, but I knew something was wrong.

"Nothing. It's just my future." He never broke contact. "Bellatrix. I really like being around you, but I think that maybe we should stop being friends." The tension of the earlier situation lessened, and I sat there with an evidently confused look on my face.

"What do you mean, Tom?"

"Bella, I just think that you should get out of my life as soon as you can. I'm not good for you." I heard his words and saw his face, but I couldn't put them together. I knew that he was charismatic and mysterious, but I couldn't understand why he would be so bad for me. A part of me, small yet defiant, was beginning to warm to him as a person. I was beginning to understand how Narcissa felt when she saw Lucius.

"Oh." I sat there, feeling foolish. "Well, um, I'll just be gone then." I got up and left just in time for the full impact to hit me.

Tom Riddle

_I was only human. I realized that Bellatrix's life would be ruined if she chose to follow me. The time wasn't right to insist on her loyalty. The truth was that I liked being around her. Sixteen-year-old Bellatrix was my favourite person to be around; she was intelligent, witty, and she didn't hurt easily. I knew that she would be an asset. I knew that she had a future. _

_So I had to tell her to leave me alone. _

_But she left her little bag on the library floor when she left that day. I took it with me back to the Slytherin common room and asked her friend Lestrange where she was. He told me she was outside. It was cold, wet and dark, so I wondered what she was possibly doing on the grounds alone. _

Bellatrix Black

I was crying.

I don't know where it came from, but all of a sudden, these ridiculous salty tears started streaming down my face, and I didn't know why. Tom hadn't been that close of a friend. I reduced it to the fact that he had rejected me. I didn't like rejection and that must have been what was bothering me so much. That was a lie.

Even I knew that.

"Bella?" I knew it was Tom. No one else sounded like that, and no one else would come out in the rain to where I was. I was sitting on the grass in the courtyard, huddled in my cloak with my face in my hands.

"What." I sounded toneless and flat.

"I have your purse here. Please come under the overhang with me. It's wet out there."

"No, Tom." I looked the other way and sniffed. "We're not friends, you can't just assume I'm going to do whatever you ask me to do." I sounded juvenile. "Honestly, I don't know why you even wanted to talk to me. I'm sixteen, you know. You're eighteen." My voice was on the edge of hysteria.

"Bella! I don't want to fight with you. I just want to give you the purse."

"So you don't care?" I wiped my eye violently. "Leave the purse there, please. And go AWAY." In truth, I wanted to get up and go sleep in my dry bed, but I couldn't let him think that he'd won.

"Bellatrix, of course I CARE. I don't want you to be hurt, that's why I need to make distance here." Tom sounded closer, so I wiped my nose. "I don't want to implicate you in what happens to me after Hogwarts. I care far too much about you!"

For a boy who never showed emotion, he was quite a good actor.

"Great. Tom, leave the purse and go away, please."

Then I felt his arms on mine, and he was lifting me up to standing position. He turned me around to face him. His pale skin was glowing in the dark. The rain was weighing down his hair over his forehead and he held my arm with one hand, while the other was gripped around my upper-arm.

"Bella, you are soaked."

"Tom, just go away." I shifted my weight onto one leg and stood, expectantly. "You told me that you didn't want me as a friend. I don't know what your problem is, but I'm gone. Just give me the purse and leave."

Tom Riddle

_Truth is, I lied when I told her that I didn't want her around. _

_The real truth is that I wanted her around more than anything. She tore me apart. I couldn't believe how much I had attached myself to a woman. However, I was stupid and eighteen. _

Bellatrix Black

"I want you around, Bellatrix, I'm just scared that I'll put you in danger and something will happen to you." Tom started cautiously, releasing his grip on my arm slowly. "Bellatrix?"

"What." I repeated my earlier tone.

"Bellatrix, I'm obsessed with you." He delivered this statement as if he was saying 'You are standing in my way' or 'Stop stealing my ink.' Naturally I had nothing to say to him. This kind of thing just doesn't pop up every day. "And it's really annoying, to be honest."

"Okay. I don't know what kind of game you're playing, Riddle, but I'm going inside." I turned to leave and he pulled me back.

In one fell swoop, he dropped my purse, stepped towards me and placed his hands on my neck. "I don't like this, Bellatrix.". With that, he leaned in and kissed me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Damaged**

Disc: I don't own Harry Potter.

…

_And you can see my heart beating;_

_You can see it through my chest._

Bellatrix Black

I'd kissed loads of boys before.

But Tom Riddle Jr. was different.

After the initial shock, I relaxed and melted into the kiss. I felt his hands on the back of my head, holding me tightly to him. The kiss wasn't light or celebratory, it was intense and deep, so different from the flighty pecks of teenaged flirts. When he finally released me, I noted that his eyes, which were usually so calm and dark, were wild and glistening in the rainy night.

He stood straight, cleared his throat and smiled. "Shall we go inside Bella?"

I followed him into the school, trailing several paces behind in order to make sense of what had happened. Once we entered the common room, he turned to face me.

"Bella, I don't want to hurt you." He spoke softly.

"I don't know why you think you're going to hurt me, Tom, I'm your friend and I love being around you. You won't hurt me. Why would you?"

"I'm not an easy person to deal with. I have ideals and dreams for the future that might not be the most secure investment of time for yourself." Tom looked serious and businesslike. "I don't want to have the baggage of an extra person in my possession, and I don't want you to be put in danger."

"What are you talking about?"

"Bella, I need to ask you if you will follow me no matter what. I need your whole commitment, or I need you to step out of my life."

"You have my commitment. You're different from anyone I've ever met - "

He cut me off by kissing me gently and quickly. "Alright then," he whispered. "good night. I'll see you in the morning." With that, he turned to climb the stairs to his room and I did the same.

For the rest of the school term, we spent every day together. We would do our homework by the lake on the warm days, and we would sit together and talk about Tom's future at night. He was planning on finding a way to cut down on the muggleborn wizard population. I believed in his cause because I grew up in a house of likeminded people, and because I believed in Tom Riddle, no matter the cause.

Unfortunately, after Hogwarts, he would have nowhere to live for a month before he began his travels to find people who believed in his cause. I offered my house after a long and intense discussion with my parents. He accepted graciously and promised me that it would all work out.

By this time, my interest in school had decreased and I was bored with the company and the subjects. I had already decided in my mind that I would follow Tom wherever he went because I believed in the idea that we were in love. I started to see a future where he was successful and rich, and I was his second half. I was the woman that he would come home to after a long day of ridding the world of the mudblood population.

I knew that I could be the woman that he could love.

When Tom met my parents for the first time, he used his usual charm and grace to impress and delight them. He told them of his intent to limit the interactions between wizards and muggles, and my parents could not have been happier to have him living in our house. Narcissa was always at the Malfoy Manor with Lucius. Andromeda was slowly becoming quieter and more subdued. At first we thought that she was sick, but as time went on, we became aware of a boy that she may have liked. Much later, Ted Tonks was introduced to the family, and Andromeda was cast out.

Tom stayed in our only spare room, one door down from my own room. The room was a dark green, like the rest of ours. Only Andromeda had attempted to paint hers blue. The furniture was antique and stained a dark brown. The room was a luxury, and Tom knew it.

"It's beautiful, Bellatrix." He said, serene as always.

"Thanks." I turned to leave. "Supper's usually at eight, and if you need towels or anything, they're in the hall cupboard. As for anything else- " he cut me off by grabbing my shoulder and turning me around to face him. He leaned down and kissed me intensely. I had no idea where this intensity had come from, but I welcomed it and kissed him back, occasionally biting his lips, not gently. He flicked his wand absently and closed the door, then directed me to his bed.

I lay down, keeping his robes clutched tightly in my hands. With all of his weight pressed against me, I realized the gravity of our actions. We still hadn't discussed what kind of relationship we were nursing. Sometimes I felt as though it was a relationship commanded by lust and physicality, but I knew that there was a deep connection between us.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed myself as tightly as I could against him. The need to be close to him would never fade for me. There was a physical reaction whenever he was in the room. I knew that my legs would take me to where he was; we were inexplicably attracted to one another.

"Bella ?" I heard my sister and my eyes shot open.

"That's Ciss." I whispered. Tom's lips dropped from my mouth to my neck. "We need to get up." He obliged and held out a hand to help me off the bed.

"Yes Narcissa? I'm in the spare room." I went to open the door. "Narcissa?" I called out to the corridor. Looking for her platinum hair.

"Oh, be right there!" and she walked into sight. "Oh Bella, mummy and daddy want to talk to you about your O.W.L's." Narcissa smiled her little perfect smile and bounced away.

I looked at Tom and shook my head. "Tom, we can't be outrageous here. My parents are right under us as we speak."

"So you'll meet me after everyone goes to bed then?" Tom's eyes still held the wild look that I saw every time he was impassioned by something.

I smirked cruelly. "We'll see." I left the room and noticed that he wasn't following me. I stuck my head in and raised an eyebrow.

He crossed the room and grabbed my arm, slamming the door shut behind us. I smiled wickedly and called down to my parents, telling them that I wouldn't be down for a little while, I had something important to finish.


	6. Chapter 6

**Damaged**

Disc: I don't own Harry Potter.

…

_I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed/_

_Cuz you broke all of your promises._

Tom Riddle

_The Black's house was a sanctuary for me for several weeks. I was given a comfortable bed and warm room, with two substantial meals a day, and Bellatrix. She and I spoke very little, but fought for power in our physical encounters. For a sixteen-year-old girl, she was very strong and very intelligent, but I was stronger still, and more intelligent. She was the only pleasure I felt when I wasn't alone. _

_One night, a week before I had planned to leave the Black's and work with Bourgin and Burke's, I decided to tell her about my true intentions. _

_I sat her down on my bed and held her hand, as I was aware that holding a woman's hand was supposed to be comforting. "Bellatrix. You know that I have been grateful to be a guest in your beautiful home, and grateful even more for the confidence you have bestowed upon me." She looked lost. "I wish to tell you of my future."_

"_Tom, we've talked about your future. I'm coming with you, of course." She spoke as though it were the most natural thing to say._

"_I am going to work with some of the darkest wizards of our time. Bella, I'm not a nice person. I wish to exterminate thousands of muggleborns and half bloods." I waited for her to object. She didn't disappoint. _

"_Tom, you can't keep saying things like that, you've never hurt me emotionally and you're not a bad person, I'm quite fond of you, actually I - "_

"_No, you don't love me. You love the idea of darkness and mystery. Bellatrix, I'm not some mysterious man with ulterior motives, and I don't want you to come with me when I go away. In fact, I will be surprised if we ever meet again." I saw that the words were difficult for her to hear and I almost felt a flicker of guilt, but that was smothered by my desire to start putting my plans into motion. _

"_No, don't say that! We have a future, you said so yourself!" She half cried._

"_We were fortunate to have each other for these past months, and very fortunate to know each other intimately for this past month, but you must not confuse that luck with the future." I was trying to be as sensitive as I could._

"_You know what, Tom, forget this. Just leave." She stood and ran from the room, I heard her own door being slammed shut, and the sound of books being thrown across the room. _

_In my own way, I felt bad. I was so in awe of Bellatrix, and I didn't know what the feeling was. I certainly didn't like that she was angry with me, but I didn't understand why I was feeling so empty again. I liked being alone. I reduced the empty feeling down to the nervous excitement of moving on with my life. _

Bellatrix Black

After he broke my heart, Tom left my house.

I was sitting on my balcony when I heard a noise below me.

It had been about a week since he had told me that there was no way that I would accompany him on his way across Britain.

I saw his shape dark across the lawn, a small messenger bag slung across his back. He turned back only once to look at the home that I had offered him. Our eyes met briefly and the world caught fire. The desire returned and I had to tear my eyes away and go inside. I didn't know what to do with myself after that.

I had decided that there was nothing left for me at home or at Hogwarts.

I ran away a week after Tom. I left a note that described my intended path and I tried to console my parents through words that I would be safe and I would be in touch. Then I was gone.

_2 years_

In a bizarre turn of events, I arrived home to find Tom lying on the bed in the spare room as though nothing had ever happened.

I was eighteen, which would have made him twenty.

He was paler than I remembered, with more angular features. His eyes were bright and intense but his skin was sallow and unhealthy. He was just casually lying on the bed with a notebook in front of him. His quill made familiar scratchy sounds on the parchment.

When I had returned, my parents were furious, but thrilled that I was alive, and the gifts that I had brought back from India for my sisters had been a big enough apology for them. I took my belongings up to my room and saw a light in the spare bedroom. I investigated, curious to see which of Narcissa's friends were living there.

When I saw him, I cried out without realizing.

"What are you DOING here, Tom?" I asked, hysterically.

"I've come to retrieve you. If you so want to be a part of my uprising, I'll let you." His voice was deeper and slightly terrifying. I loved every bit of it.

"I won't just come with you because you show up." His eyes flashed.

"Well." He got up and I realized that he was much taller since we had last spoken. "Shall I just leave then?" His voice was annoyed and irritated.

"Why don't you just leave, like before." I threw at him. "You know, I have no doubt that you just leave everything in the middle like that."

"Harsh, Bellatrix." He gripped the bedpost; his knuckles turned white. "And you leaving your family is no different?"

"You don't know anything about me anymore!" My voice was rising. My irrational response was met with an equally irrational backlash.

"And you never knew anything about me at all! Apart from my name and my favourite food at best!" He was walking towards me and I was scared he would lash out and hit me. "Bellatrix you don't know me at all! You walk around pretending as though you and I are best friends and lovers, but you don't know anything!"

"YOU SPOKE TO ME FIRST." I screamed.

The world was quiet as we stared each other in the eyes. I knew that I had changed a great deal as well. My hair was too long and my eyes had grown darker. I looked more like a woman than a young girl. The air was ignited with the physical tension we had shared before he left, and before I knew what was happening, Tom was in front of me, his arm around me roughly and his mouth on mine. My hands searched him hungrily, longing to be reacquainted with his body. I could feel his heart beating, slowly, and mine, quickly.

I realized that I was angry with him for leaving me alone, I was angry with him for being cold to me, and I resented ever meeting him. However, with his body pressed against me, nothing mattered except him.

"Let me help you." I grasped his face desperately. "Let me follow you."

"Bella" he breathed, "please follow me. I won't leave you anymore. I need you on my side." He kissed my neck and moved me towards his bed.

Two years had changed us both in ways that I couldn't have imagined. I had tried to forget about him, and our relationship, but I would never be free. I knew that it would never be perfect, and that it would hurt me every day that I remained a part of it, but I was addicted to him, and somehow I knew that he couldn't succeed without me.


End file.
